The source of "true marriage healing" lies within the spiritual aspects of who we are. How do I know this? Because I've been to marriage counseling, and I have read all the self-help marriage books, and because, I did all the things "they say" that are supposed to help you love who you married. But the reality of it is folks, there is no magic pill or potion you can take, and there is no person, besides you, that is going to heal your marriage as it is meant to be healed. He said, she said scenarios don't work, and neither will finger pointing and blaming one another. We can brow beat our spouse until we are blue in the face, and we can continue to have affairs just because our marriage is on rocky times, and we can listen to strangers tell us how to save our marriage, but I'll tell you what, it will not make us better people inside, so what good is all that for our marriage? What we want and need for marriage is to be the person God intended for us to be so we can have a better marriage. A man and a woman marriage relationship is the four legs that support the marriage, and what you believe for your marriage is the root of how good or bad the marriage actually will be. If you want to be a healthier person spiritually, and even mentally, you need to enhance the spiritual side of who you are so you can grow into the loving individual God wants you to become, which is the whole and complete person you truly can be! We all have certain issues in our lives that hold us back from attaining the spiritualism that I am talking about. What is holding you back? That is the question? In my book, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, I reveal what held me back. It is my personal testimony of dealing with alcohol addiction and how it stunted my mental and spiritual growth process, and kept me from loving others and myself properly. I was up there on cloud nine most of the early years of my marriage. I eventually came down off that cloud and grew up. It is MY firm belief that to heal marriage according to how marriage is to be divinely inspired and healed, we need to fix ourselves FIRST! I don't care what some of the self-help books say, I just know this to be true because I've been there! If our marriage isn't good, we need to seek out the resources from the source that is going to actually do something constructive for the marriage, right? Man himself can set forth a standard for you to follow based on beliefs of society and they may all seem so good and right but if they do not come from God what use are they, really? Most man-made principles come from God but have been twisted to fit into the standards of society, which can sound good and right. This takes great discernment on your part. What is right and wrong? How can you tell? Don't let the world fool you; don't let people fool you into believing what your ears want to hear. Look for the fruit. If there isn't any, then what good is that? "He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit" Proverbs 27:18. And in the same concept, "He who tends "himself" will eat its fruits in marriage, and whatever else he embarks on in his life. If you originate from God, why are you looking to a mere stranger to heal your marriage troubles? God has told us what he wants for us to do for our marriage, but no one is following these precepts, not even those who call themselves Christian's. If you are sinning against the marriage in any way, how can you really expect the standards of society to save you from yourself? Society isn't going to tell you that being unfaithful is wrong, just as it won't tell you what is good and right for your marriage. Society created the things that are tempting to us and wrong for our marriage. Immoral behavior and imagery is shoved into our face every single day and everywhere! God desperately wants us to put on His shield of armor and He will protect us from the evils of the outside world. This is precisely why we need to fix our self FIRST before we can fix anything with marriage! We do this by letting God lead us not into temptation of society, but instead deliver us from all the evils of society! "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full body armor (figuratively speaking) of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." [Ephesians 6:10-13] We ought not to stand proud in our sin, but rather put our head down low, and stand humbly before God ready to give our sin(s) to Him. Now, I certainly don't know everything there is to know about the mysteries of God, and, like many of you, I am learning something new about the world around me every single day. Not a day goes by that God doesn't somehow and in some way reveal to me something new to share with others. I have dealt with personally many of the issues most marriages go through in a lifetime, and sometimes my marriage was a living nightmare. But I grew out and away from what was holding me back, and I managed to heal my marriage with the help of biblical principles. I didn't learn how to be happy and content with myself by going to a therapist or a marriage counselor. And I knew that I couldn't fix my marriage until I fixed myself first. I had to stop drinking, and start to be aware of who I was as a person and where I was in relation to being that person. What is my purpose? Who am I? Well, I am a child of God. Well then, if I am a child of God, then my source for comfort, happiness and marriage healing lies then in the seed God planted in my heart, which needs only to sprout and grow. Will the seed planted in my heart grow if I go outside of God's boundaries for the answers to my failings, and marriage troubles? No! I need to water the seed by staying within the boundaries of who I am. One day I decided I wanted to understand what having spirituality in my life was all about, and eventually, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. His Spirit, the Holy Spirit is a part of my life now. This is not something anyone can just hand over to you. Spirituality is something that you go after and attain on your own and it takes time and spiritual effort. Your relationship with God (Jesus Christ) is unique and special and unlike anyone else's relationship with Him. True Marriage Healing is not made in a week, or months, but is a gradual growth process that husband and wife make within himself or herself. No marriage will ever be restored until "each" spouse looks at what he can do to change himself. Once this is attained, then and only then, can the marriage begin to be transformed? The big change comes through when we know who we are and what our purpose is in life. When we feel like our life has purpose and meaning, then we can start applying that purpose into our lives. Many couples when they feel like there is no value or importance attached to their life, that is when they may go outside the boundaries of Gods precepts and search for substance through the establishments of society. The main objective here is for couples to change the way they value themselves and marriage and to help the marriage to grow in positive ways. Who are you? What is your purpose in life? The answers are where you begin your search for the true source of marriage healing. ~~~ |
